Is it an internal requirement for people to get reflective when they leave their homes for awhile? I have heard preachers talk about heading into the desolation, the desert to receive insight…or perhaps to commune with God. I always seem to do my best thinking in this place…many miles away from my family. And usually my thinking takes place when I am supposed to be sleeping, but oh well such is life.

I have to ask myself what is wrong with me. I have been watching the TV show Dexter and that dude is seriously fucked up! But I can’t help but finding myself relating in some weird way. Maybe that’s why the show is popular? Not in the homicidal tendencies department, but more generally that everybody is fucked up in their own little ways. Everyone wears a mask.

Mine? I think it’s my family life. I have a beautiful wife who is very good to me, and a genius of a son! He is an awesome kid! But sometimes I feel fake. Maybe it’s the fact that my father died when I was his age. Maybe it’s because I never learned from him what it’s like to be a father and a husband. Maybe it’s I haven’t gotten over my fear of dying…of leaving this world with another orphan boy. Like father like son ya know.

Regardless of the reason, the truth remains that I need to do something about it. Maybe that should be my New-Year resolution. To be DAD! To turn off the TV and go outside like I always say I want to. To get my son to sign up for sports and take an active role in them. I know that’s what my wife wants. I think that might be the answer to some problems I perceive in our marriage.

But there’s the crux. I don’t think I know how! Life just seems to be zooming by, and I am just a passenger. I work I come home I work again. I’m tired, I’m lazy, and I don’t want to play. I used to love playing cars, even as an adult, but now that I finally have someone to play with, I think it’s silly. Is that what turning 30 does to someone? Where did my inner child go? Sometimes at work I feel childish, and try to blow off those feelings and prove to myself I am a man. But my son doesn’t want a man…he wants a dad!

My son’s preschool teacher once told us, “Parents, punctuality very important particularly regarding school.” Basically she said that our children will learn the importance of school based on the emphasis WE the parents place on it. Therefore if we make it principle to show up for school on time, our children will learn that it is very important and will grow up appreciating a good education. Sounds pretty good huh? Makes sense too in local thought. But if there is one truth about children, it is that their thoughts are not logical…neither are most adults for that matter!

So I was thinking about this particular statement and wondering where the teacher’s data came from. I can quote 2 cases that I am familiar with. My wife. I don’t know for sure, but I would be willing to bet my mother in law was more often than not at school on time…ever punctual is she! My own mother…15 minutes late was making great time! My wife grew up hating school, and those feelings lingered until her late 20’s. I have always excelled in school and still push myself to finish at the head of any class. Hmmm…doesn’t seem to support the teacher’s theory.

I tend to believe that educational motivate and success, like most things comes from some random split of nature and nurture. I grew up with a mother who encouraged fierce competition between my sister and me. She still tries to get us to compare our successes though we have learned to fight the temptation. I would be a millionaire today if I had a dime for every time my mother reminded me that my sister was valedictorian! Or why did you get an “A” your sister got an “A+”!

I will not discuss my wife’s learning environment for fear that my mother in law might disavow me ;) I’ll just say they were a bit more nurturing and not quite as demanding.

So does it really matter to your child’s welfare if you show up to school on time? Or does it simply keep you from getting the teacher’s evil eye? Let me know what you think and maybe I can put together some empirical data of my own.

All this leads me to another question. If our kid’s teachers are trying to teach this crap to us…what are they telling our children?

I have recently had a few high ranking military people talking about some of the places I have been and things I have done, and then ask me why I have not been promoted yet.  Umm If I knew, don’t ya think I would have done something? Hello!?  So I am again talking about this with a high ranking Naval Officer who is soon to be in a powerful position.  Over Chinese food, he says wow you’ve done all that?  You should get promoted no prob!  I said “from your lips to the Chief’s board’s ears sir!”   After dinner I get my fortune cookie.  I don’t like fortune cookies, but I always check my fortune. Remember Lonestar open it before you eat it!  So what does it say?  ”Bide your time, for success is near”  When I was in highschool, Some friends and I went out for Chinese food.  I get my fortune cookie, opened it and gave the cookie to my girlfriend.  That fortune said “Stop searching, happiness is right beside you”  We all got a great laugh over that one!…We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary last month.  Things that make you go hmmm ;)

I can’t understand why no one seems to believe that I am Jewish.  I mean…Have they seen my schnoz?  The other day I was chatting with a couple of coworkers about the upcoming holidays.  One girl asks me what I’m doing for Christmas.  I said nothing, and a guy says yeah he’s Jewish!  The girl is like really?  And the guy says “No I was just joking.” I’m like well actually your right.  She says wow don’t you get like presents for a week? At which I quote Adam Sandler ;)  I then proceed to tell them about my Favorite winter season of all!  The first year my family converted to Christianity.  My mom led us in celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas that year!  So we got eight nights of presents followed by a bunch more presents on Christmas morning…It was awesome!  SO the guy was like so did you do that again the next year?  I said are you kidding?  The next year my mom was like Nope we are Christians now so we are only doing Christmas from now on!  Just goes to show, that a Jewish mother may convert to another religion, but she will always be a cheap Jew!

True story.  I am sitting on the couch working on the bills that are due on Friday(which is also payday).  And realized that although things might be looking up for us on Friday…I have absolutely NO way to pay for my dog’s kennel from this past weekend.  (I had to go out of town with my family for a business trip).  After some ponderings, I finally figure out how to swing that at least until payday.  Then comes dinner time at the ranch…after just coming back from a weekend trip, neither of us want to cook.  So I count out $10 worth of quarters (actually $8 in quarters $1.50 in dimes & $.50 in nickels) from the change jar and head to BK while my wife shakes her head telling me that they will be pissed at me.  Now here’s where it gets interesting…I walk out the door in flip-flops and a t-shirt…and realize that its far too fracking cold to be wearing just a t-shirt.  I walk back into the house and grab a coat that I haven’t worn yet this season.  I put my hands in my pocket as my wife jokes that I might find $$ in there.  And I pull out $6!  And dinner ends up costing exactly $6!  That just totally made my day!  And filled my tummy ;)

Wow I haven’t updated here in a while…Things have been happening, I just haven’t been writing.  I haven’t really been working out, so I don’t even want to know where my flab index has gone.  I heard I had a pretty good birthday party this past Friday, but I got just a TAD bit fershnickered ;)  Of course there was drama, but isn’t there always?  I had a good post in mind about a car rebuild my buddy and I did a few weeks ago, but my wife hasn’t cleaned up the pics yet ;)  Life is too short, work has been too busy.  I guess there really is nothing new under the sun!

The Navy wife, like her civilian counterpart, must keep house, wash clothes, and shop for groceries.Like any other wife, a Navy wife takes an active part in the local and civic activities of her community, such as church, scouting and PTA. But that’s about where the similarity ends. The Navy wife is a rare and unique breed of woman. She has many good opportunities that other wives do not have. She also has responsibilities and hardships heaped upon her that other wives couldn’t cope with. It seems as if ship or squadron departures suddenly trigger the gremlins into action that disrupt normally well-run households. The household appliances or the family car always seems to wait until the Navy man leaves on a deployment to break down. And the children suddenly develop problems that just didn’t exist when “DAD” was home.

Yes, the Navy wife is unique in that she is a housewife, mother, father, and family manager all in one. She also plays an important and needed role in her husband’s career in the Navy, whether it be short term or lifetime career. Her attitude toward and her understanding of her husband’s part in the Navy can be a liability or an asset to him. How does the Navy wife do it? Simply, she understands her role as a Navy wife, her inherent responsibility to other Navy wives and that she is indeed a part of the Navy. She feels the pride of belonging to the Navy team and recognizes that she, too, is a representative of the Navy and the United States just as her husband is. There is no other woman in the world like the Navy wife. She is indeed unique! She is indeed rare! Navy wives, we salute you.  For without you, this great Navy of ours would not be what it is today.

-AT1 Howard O. Troop September 1963